Happy Birthday, Mommy
Thoughts on not being back home in BC for my Mom's birthday are the following:
I feel as though I've broken the Daughterly Code. There's seriously a code for everything. A Friend Code, Girlfriend/Boyfriend Code, Da Vinci Code, Code of Conduct, Code of Chivalry.. There are just tons of codes! And thus my point, the Daughterly Code being one of them; and the code in which I felt I have broken. I'm still being pretty vague, so let me explain a little further. My Muj ("Muj" being my pet name for my Mommy) and I are extremely close. Not just "awe, aren't they close," it's more like "holy crap, they're best friends" -close. It's true. I enjoy being around my mom, I can't get sick of her. She is one of those people that you want to get to know. She's so well rounded in every department of her life. I'm really lucky to be her daughter, but at the same time, after leaving I feel as though I've let her down in a huge, irreplaceable sort of way. My biological sperm doner left when I was in the Kindergarten, which didn't phase me at all. It was more like "so long, sucker!" The divorce did hurt my Muji though, and my little brother (whom I used to fight with, every single day -- but now we're super tight). After that effer (I don't like swearing) departed from out lives for the best, our threesome became a very close knit family, and I liked it that way. I believe that's when we really bonded. My Muj eventually remarried one heck of a guy, so at least she ended up with a very good feller, a castle and her very own fairy tale. -- So, there was a little of my background. Did that help at all?
Furthermore, on top of the guilt of not being there to help, and spend time with my Momma (+ the little brother), I am still burdened heavily with homesickness (a fatality that not even antibiotics can assist with). This makes me feel like crap, thus the breaking of the Daughterly Code. I am sure that there are exceptions and different sorts of rules that vitto what I think that I have done wrong, but the thing is, that would be cheating. You know, the type of cheating when someone (for instance) is 375 pounds and on a diet: works out, eats healthy, but during a weak moment when no one around, steals a crispy cream into there room and eats it in their closet. After which they get stuck in the closet and suffer a heart attack caused by exhausten when trying to get out of that darn closet. M ake sense? I lost you. Ok. The thing is, I just feel bad. I wish I were there. And I feel bad because I don't regret moving here at the same time.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Love and Miss you,
Brittany
I feel as though I've broken the Daughterly Code. There's seriously a code for everything. A Friend Code, Girlfriend/Boyfriend Code, Da Vinci Code, Code of Conduct, Code of Chivalry.. There are just tons of codes! And thus my point, the Daughterly Code being one of them; and the code in which I felt I have broken. I'm still being pretty vague, so let me explain a little further. My Muj ("Muj" being my pet name for my Mommy) and I are extremely close. Not just "awe, aren't they close," it's more like "holy crap, they're best friends" -close. It's true. I enjoy being around my mom, I can't get sick of her. She is one of those people that you want to get to know. She's so well rounded in every department of her life. I'm really lucky to be her daughter, but at the same time, after leaving I feel as though I've let her down in a huge, irreplaceable sort of way. My biological sperm doner left when I was in the Kindergarten, which didn't phase me at all. It was more like "so long, sucker!" The divorce did hurt my Muji though, and my little brother (whom I used to fight with, every single day -- but now we're super tight). After that effer (I don't like swearing) departed from out lives for the best, our threesome became a very close knit family, and I liked it that way. I believe that's when we really bonded. My Muj eventually remarried one heck of a guy, so at least she ended up with a very good feller, a castle and her very own fairy tale. -- So, there was a little of my background. Did that help at all?
Furthermore, on top of the guilt of not being there to help, and spend time with my Momma (+ the little brother), I am still burdened heavily with homesickness (a fatality that not even antibiotics can assist with). This makes me feel like crap, thus the breaking of the Daughterly Code. I am sure that there are exceptions and different sorts of rules that vitto what I think that I have done wrong, but the thing is, that would be cheating. You know, the type of cheating when someone (for instance) is 375 pounds and on a diet: works out, eats healthy, but during a weak moment when no one around, steals a crispy cream into there room and eats it in their closet. After which they get stuck in the closet and suffer a heart attack caused by exhausten when trying to get out of that darn closet. M ake sense? I lost you. Ok. The thing is, I just feel bad. I wish I were there. And I feel bad because I don't regret moving here at the same time.
Happy Birthday, Mom.
Love and Miss you,
Brittany
posted by Bribby @ 1:27 PM
1 Comments:
At 4:51 PM,
Gina said…
awwww. *tear* I can totally understand why u are completly and totally homesick. I wish there was something more I could do to help u out with the situation. Its too bad that Kamloops is so far away.. Just keep focusing on the positives.. Keep focusing out what u have gained my moving out here. U have a boyfriend who loves u more then anyone. I have never seen him this way. Seriously U guys are perfect for each other!!!!. U get 50% of clothes, u have gained 2 awesome sisters.. yeah I know we are pretty wonderful LOL. U met sasha bear.. U live with some animals.. Just hang in there. I know it feels like ur loosing the daugherly code.. But everyone has to grow up some time.. Just make sure to keep the closeness in other ways!!!. Just think how loved u will be when u go home to visit. People will be gushing over u!!!!.. We love u.. Hang in there kido.. Besides u have Greys Anatomy to keep u happy!. LOL..
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO UR MOTHER AS WELL!!!!!
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